Am I Being Reasonable? Fourth Scenario

In the world of investigations, whether it be workplace, campus or Title IX, we often run into situations where two people interpret the same events in wildly different ways.  As human beings, our memories can be subjective, and we are constantly interpreting events through the lens of our own backgrounds and experiences. 

In the legal world, everyone is held to the standard of behaving like a “reasonable person.”  Can someone who always makes the best choices and always perceives the world in an accurate way really exist?  The short answer is no.  Everyone perceives the world in a different way and often there is no universal “correct answer” to the situations we come across.  As investigators, however, we are often called upon to carefully assess facts to reach reasoned findings on whether one person’s interpretation of a situation was more reasonable than the other’s.

Try it yourself!  Below are a Complainant’s and Respondent’s accounts of the same events.  When you are finished reading, click the vote button at the bottom of the accounts for one of the following:

• CIBR—Complainant is being reasonable, and Respondent is not.

• RIBR—Respondent is being reasonable, and Complainant is not. 

• EIBR—Everyone is being reasonable, it’s just a difference of opinion.

• NOIBR—No one is being reasonable here, neither of these perspectives makes any sense!

Complainant

I am 65-year-old female and have worked at Bob’s Grocer for almost 20 years. I love my job and all of my coworkers. Bob is the best, but recently, he hired this new manager. I cannot stand this new guy, R. He is such a pompous jerk.

R has no respect for my experience. Like I said, I’ve been doing my job for almost 20 years. 20 YEARS! I know everything there is to know about this store, but R treats me like it’s my first day. He will not leave me alone. He’s a micromanager who needs to always check and recheck my work. He doesn’t do any of this stuff to anybody else, just me. It’s humiliating. He’s also so mean when he talks to me. He won’t look me in my eyes anymore and has the worst tone. I hate working with him.

I think he’s doing this to me because he’s trying to get me fired for being old. Whenever I go to lift something, he always asks if I need help. It’s like he thinks I’m too old and frail to lift a 15-pound box of tomatoes on my own! He also nags me about my break times. Does he think I’m senile? I’ve had the same breaks for years. I know my schedule like the back of my hand. He even had the gall to ask me if I could pick up the pace a bit while I was stocking cans the other day. I feel like R’s just picking on me because he thinks I’m old and slow. The worst is when I’m on register. Last week, he made me recount change three times while the customer was standing right there! As if I’m so ancient I forgot how to count!

The last straw for me was yesterday. We got a delivery of health care and medicine products (cold medicines, antiacids, laxatives, itch creams, etc.). Carl (30 male) and I were both on stocking duty that day, so we were discussing who would stock the new items. R comes up and says, “Why don’t you handle this, C? You must know all of this stuff really well, and it’s light work. I need Carl in the back with me for something more important.” I was so embarrassed! Just because I am an older lady doesn’t mean I’m the expert on laxatives and itch creams! I cannot believe R said I should do “light work” either. I am not a frail old lady who needs antiacid and can’t do important work.

I’ve avoided it long enough but I need to report this to Bob. I feel like I can’t do my work anymore because R is constantly belittling, degrading and micromanaging me. He is a bad manager and person, and I do not like him. I know he treats me differently because of my age. It needs to stop right now! 

So tell me, AIBR?

Respondent

This is a hard situation. The truth is – I AM treating C differently than other employees but it has nothing to do with her age. Bob really loves having C as an employee, but unfortunately, she’s costing the store money. Bob hired me to help get C and the store back on track.

C has been causing the store to lose thousands and thousands of dollars a year. Bob hired a professional audit company, and that’s how he found out. I didn’t see the numbers, but I guess it’s pretty obvious. Bob does not want to fire C or even give her official warnings on her record. C has been at his store for a very long time. Bob thinks of her as a friend. He wanted to try to handle this discreetly first, so he hired me. 

I’ve been a grocery store manager for 10 years at three different companies. At each store, I increased sales and reduced waste. Bob and I were connected by a mutual colleague and Bob hired me on the spot. He wanted me to fix the issues in his store.

I admit I did and said the things C accused me of, but that’s because it’s my job. I had to remind C about her work schedule, because she takes breaks to eat or chat with coworkers whenever she feels like it.  I did ask C multiple times if she needed help lifting things. My first day, we had to throw out a whole box of tomatoes because she dropped it. C is by far the slowest employee in the store. Other employees will stock three shelves’ worth of cans by the time she’s finished one. C is also the worst employee at giving change that I have ever seen. I watched her give incorrect change so many times that I made her start recounting the change coin by coin and dollar by dollar before giving it to the customer. 

I recall the incident yesterday about the medicine supplies, but it didn’t happen like that. C is totally twisting my words. It’s true that we got a new shipment of medicine supplies, and C and Carl were talking about who should stock it. I did ask C if she could stock the supplies because she was familiar with them. I didn’t say that because she’s an older woman and I think she uses laxatives! I said it because she’s always talking about how she’s been here for 20 years and knows everything. Also, I did say I needed Carl in the back to help me lift some really heavy crates of wine. I knew C wouldn’t be able to do it, so I thought stocking the shelves would be better for her.  

From my observations, C has become far too comfortable in her position. I’ve seen it before – it’s normally not a hard thing to correct. The problem with C is that she’s full blown arrogant. She knows better than everybody about everything but works half as hard as anybody else. I’ll admit that I really dislike her now as both a person and an employee. I think she totally takes advantage of Bob and should be terminated.

Can’t you see I’m being the reasonable one?

Missed the last Am I Being Reasonable? We’ve got you covered. Click here for the previous of our AIBR series.